A journey of Life

The last 22 weeks or 5.5 months has been the most unfamiliar and familiar experience of my life. The ever similar pregnancy symptoms that take over my body instantly, is mixed in with new symptoms I have never experience. It’s like driving down that road you use to drive everyday,the bumps and turns are all still imprinted in your memory box however it looks so different with all the houses and new buildings. It’s a completely new experience with a familiar feel, comforting and exciting it releases all senses and feelings in your body. I went from the familiar head in the toilet everyday to the new need of hot sauce on everything. Every smell and taste brings an unexpected twist to my mouth keeping me wondering if tomorrow I will feel the same about it.
My body has kicked it’s memory into full steam ahead and decided to expand as soon as conception. I am taking by how fast my belly decided to show itself this time leaving no room for guessing, and how my boobs decided to follow. My ever expanding belly is a wonderment not only for myself but for the girls who are ever so intrigued with how mommy’s body can take that shape, and how a person can live in there. we are constantly tracking the babies development weekly and finding objects in the house that resemble his size. The girls keep the amazement so alive I feel as if this is my first time ever experiencing this incredible journey. I find myself more amazed with the whole process this time around then I have before. I am living it through the eyes and mind of a 7 and 5 year old and this is perhaps the most intriguing thing ever. I am still so amazed what the body can do in as little as 9 months , I mean we are such complex creatures created so quickly. The body is an incredible machine, we are incredible.
As I turn the corner to half way my emotions are running at rapid speeds, I’m balancing joy and excitement with the nerves of starting over. My capabilities are questioned, new life is about to be my responsibility again and the challenging task of teaching and supporting is represented in new form once again. However with every movement this little soul gives me, ever kick and flip, I am quickly brought back to the place of complete love and joy to be having this experience all over again. I am completely in love with every part of his journey and can’t wait for the next chapter, and to welcome our son into our perfect family to complete our puzzle.

America….Land of the stressful

The transition back into this life has been a lot harder then the transition into our Nica life. The realities of the American lifestyle is ridiculously hard to maintain and really a non-necessary stress in my life. I do not want to nor need to keep up with the Kardashians or neighbor money bags who just bought a brand new convertible mazaratti……. because you need one of those, especially in Bend, Oregon. The hustle and bustle of making enough money just to get food on the table is very straining. I miss the simplicity of everything, having less is way less stressful . Why would anyone want more stuff when all it brings is more stress and strain.
The fight to survive is taking it’s toll on us already. The once lost and forgotten about everyday stresses that occurred in our life and marriage is quickly creeping it’s way back into our lives. I find the struggle of having to make the money to eat the overly priced food is a very tiring battle I am constantly fighting, it’s like ground hound day, I wake up with a new plan every morning and somehow they all seem to backfire. Still somehow we seem to manage and pull thru and find ourselves on the succeeding end of the battle pole.
I know we will survive and everything we need will come to us. If we keep living our simple lives and minimizing the needs and wants the stresses and strains will not conquer, and we will flourish with our own riches of happiness and love. So to the Kardashians and money bag neighbors you can keep your new cars and fancy T.V’s and all the stresses that comes with them. I will gladly drive my 1979 volkswagen rabbit with the broken seats and cracked dash. I will eat my fridge empty before I go shopping. The only battle I care to fight is the one to keep our lives as simple and stress free as it was in Nicaragua.

Farewell Nica farewell!

Nicaragua, what can I say. It has proven itself to be one of the greatest places I have ever been along with one of the most hectic and stressful places. Nica grabs a hold and digs those hooks in deep keeping you guessing if your ever going to get to leave yet really sad when you click confirm.
About two days before we were suppose to hit the road and start our journey back we both decided that we may have been crazy enough to drive here but are not crazy enough to drive home. We have nothing else to prove we made it here, why play russian roulette twice. So the talk of flying was in order. We rented this house till the 15th so we will stay till then, giving us two more weeks to sort out the new plan of flying and getting CC rider and all our stuff home, should be plenty of time.
Well after booking our flights with the airline Spirit which I never heard of but they had really cheap flights, and really crappy hours to go with the cheap flights, that only fly on certain days generally starting at 1am. We either pay $60 for each checked bag or go bag less, after having to pay $30 each for our carry on and pay for our seats if we want to pick them, we decide to take nothing but two tiny carry on’s.
The decision to fly seems like a pretty easy one, however the decision to fly after you drove to Nicaragua with all your stuff lends itself to being not exactly the easy button. For the past two weeks our lives have been engulfed in the finest most unorganized Chaos I have endeared. Of course this comes without saying that we pretty much dealt ourselves this fabulous hand of BS when we made that “easy” decision to fly home.
It was brought to our attention that CC only had a 30 day visa and we all have 90, which makes no sense to anyone however this makes sense to Nicaragua, I guess the van was suppose to leave Nicaragua after 30 days to renew, silly Van guess he forgot to take the trip across the border. Well this ridiculousness lead to 6 days of Cameron battling in Managua just to get one paper signed, which turned into a race to beat the date that the van needed to be in the shipping container to make the departure on the 15th, which we missed. So now CC must hang out in a container until further notice and Cam may not make the flight with us.
But to top all this off ChynaMae decided to get an ear infection, Lila decided to get sick and something decided to bite my face leaving me with a rash and half swollen face! So the girls and I said goodbye to Poneloya and made our way to Granada to spend our last 5 days with good friends and some peace and recovery before our journey home.
With all the challenges this journey provided, I can still hold my head proud and leave with a full heart for Nicaragua, the friendships and memories that where made are what we hold on to. I will take with me one of the greatest experience of my life, and forever look at the bond our our family created, we pulled together and created a world all our own. Chocolate Charlie was our canvas and we were the paintbrushes. Never knowing what was next but always ready to paint it. The strength in ourselves as a whole and as individuals is unmeasurable, we will conquer any mountain placed in front of us and pull thru any challenge stronger.
However this journey must end so another can start. Thank you all very much for your love and support throughout our adventure, you remained with us and kept home close and for this I am grateful for all of you. So for now I will say once again adios mi amigos and until next time. Much love to you all.

Let thy heal!

As I pour my Pineapple cinnamon protein powder smoothie that Cameron just made me into the slot of my mouth that is opened I embrace every sip. Closing my eyes and letting it slide back and forth in my mouth like mouthwash. My mind plays tricks on me, my nose smells eggs all scrambled up with cheese and onions and the smell of bacon rolls thru my nostrils making my mouth water. I take another sip and am brought back to the sweet taste of the pineapple.
My swollen sore face is a quick reminder that the bacon and eggs will have to remain in the smell folder of the brain. And my food intake will remain blended for a little bit longer.
The pain killer has taken over my entire being and I feel myself transforming into the Zombie that the pill was made to do. I suddenly lose any caring and feel all emotion leave my numb brain, a state of “relaxation” some would it call it, it is way beyond just relaxation, it’s a vacation from my cares and worries, a vacation from my all emotions. All my energy is lost in baggage check.
I imagine that my face feels a lot like Tina Turners did or any boxer or UFC fighters does. My jaw is discolored and bruise, the swelling makes it heavy, it’s sore and tired. But everyday I feel it loosening up and the swelling go, that brings a smile to my emotionless face.
I feel life pouring back into me, my heart is filling up with emotions again, I can smell the salt air and feel the mist from the ocean on my swollen face. I take my first bites of unblended food and the energy from their food soul to mine entangle themselves in a locked hug, embracing my every bite I feel like a child trying that food for the first time. My energy has made it’s way out of baggage check and back home where it belongs.
The power of healing yourself a lesson of patience and confidence. Numbing the soul will only prolong the process, embracing the pain and accepting the time will only encourage the process. The choice is always yours.

Jaimeleth our sometimes babysitter

More friends

The cleanup group, we ended up with about 20 people it was a really great time.

Birthday girl eating her cheeseburger

Lila and our adopted Nica kid Marcela

More guest awaiting cheeseburgers